One of the most important parts of Personal Mastery is ‘Self
Acceptance’. This is much more than the usual ‘self
esteem’ issues that we hear about, although that’s
a part of it.
Self Acceptance is about accepting yourself completely,
exactly as you are RIGHT NOW. For most of us this isn’t
as easy as it should be. We’ve been taught that we
have to achieve certain things or be certain things, and
that we shouldn’t feel satisfied with who we are until
we’ve done so.
In reality we’re NEVER finished as there will hopefully
always be more to learn and new ways to grow. So when, exactly,
are we supposed to feel good about ourselves?
Popular culture would have you believe that all you need
to feel good about yourself is the right car, or the right
clothes, or the right beer. In fact many of our culture’s
self-esteem problems are intentionally created by the media
and the businesses that advertise there. How often have
you seen an ad and thought “I really need to update
my style”, or “I really need a new car”?
Do you really? Hey, maybe sometimes we do. I have to admit
that my habit of wearing sweatpants, t-shirts and sandals
wouldn’t go over well when making advertising sales
calls for the videos or magazine, and I do in fact, really
need a good car.
As usual the question in our society is ‘how much
do we really need’? For instance, I don’t need
Armani suits to sell advertising for a holistic magazine,
and I can get by very well with a reliable older car.
The difference here is the word ‘need’ versus
the word ‘want’. We’re taught that we
‘need’ certain things to feel good about ourselves,
and that’s the key issue. I don’t care if you
buy a new Mercedes 3 times a week if that’s what you
want to do and you can afford it.
However, if you feel like you ‘need’ to buy
or do anything in order to feel good about yourself then
that’s an issue that needs to be addressed.
Self Acceptance is about FREEDOM. It’s the freedom
to be happy with who you are and not be a slave to the ‘needs’
that we’re taught to believe in. It’s the freedom
to look at yourself in the mirror and love and accept the
person you see looking back and the freedom to be happy
to be in your own skin.
True self acceptance is one of the transformational moments
in our lives. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t
things you’d like to change, or have new directions
you’d like to grow. It simply means that you’ve
accepted yourself, with all your warts and ugly spots, and
now you can start moving in the positive directions needed
for your life.
It’s also the key to having the freedom to accept
others exactly as they are. The most important person that
you can love is yourself. Have you ever seen someone who
gives up their entire lives to help others, yet destroy
their own health and welfare in the process? Everything
is connected and One, which means that anything that you
can see, feel or imagine is a part of you also, with all
the balances apply.
For instance, a person who only takes care of himself,
with no regard for others, is no less imbalanced than someone
who devotes his entire life to care for others at the expense
of himself. The key here, once again, is the word NEED.
It’s all about the motivation that drives them.
Some of those so intent on ‘self-sacrifice’
are driven by ‘need’. They need to help others
to make up for their own inadequacies, or to make up for
the bad things they feel that they’ve done, or whatever
other reasons drive them. Yet if they truly accepted themselves
then would they feel the need to ‘sacrifice’
themselves in order to help others? Wouldn’t they
see helping others as an extension of helping themselves,
rather than as a way to make themselves feel better about
who they are?
A balanced person sees helping others as a normal, compassionate
thing to do, rather than as something to do to make up for
their own lack in some area. It’s the Law of Reciprocity
again, by helping others we help ourselves, by encouraging
others to grow we also grow in the process. By accepting
ourselves exactly as we are, we can also accept others exactly
as they are, and that’s the beginning of unity.
About the Author
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Robert Morgen is a Reiki Master who currently holds a Black
Belt in Hoshin Roshi Ryu and founded High Mountain Hoshin
in Denver, Co. He's also the founder and moderator of the
Kundalini Awakening Discussion Group at http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/Kundalini
